Life is Something Else!!
Life is something else, y’all.
I swear every age comes with a struggle. When you’re young, you think getting older means you’ll finally have life figured out. Then you get older and realize life just introduces you to a whole new set of problems. More responsibilities, more decisions, more unexpected situations, and let’s not even talk about these random aches and ailments that start showing up.
But we keep moving. What else are we supposed to do? Life doesn’t stop because you’re tired, overwhelmed, disappointed, or trying to figure some things out. You get up, handle what needs to be handled, and keep working toward the life you want.
And trust me, I struggle too.
I just don’t put everything on social media. Everybody doesn’t need front row seats to what I’m going through. Some things I deal with privately. Some things I cry about, meditate on, think about, and work through without ever making a post.
But this time, I feel like sharing.
And before somebody gets the wrong idea, this is not a pity party. I’m not setting y’all up for a GoFundMe, and there’s no big fundraiser coming at the end of this blog. It's just story time.
Storytelling has always been therapeutic for me. Sometimes telling the story helps me release it. Other times, it helps me understand just how much I’ve survived, learned, and grown through.
So behind all the nonprofits, public engagements, livestreams, social media posts, meetings, and everything else y’all see, there’s still just me.
A middle aged, wig wearing, semi sane Black woman trying to navigate real life.
I struggle with my weight, and honestly, IDGAF about the number on the scale. The bigger concern is my diabetes, which means whether I care about my weight or not, my body keeps reminding me that I need to pay attention. Chronic Illnesses suck!!
Then there’s arthritis. And when I say arthritis, I mean WTF! Some days I can barely walk without being in pain. There are times when even sitting at the computer and typing becomes uncomfortable. Imagine having a mind full of ideas and a body that occasionally says, “Girl, absolutely not today.”
And then there’s caring for my 26 year old son who lives with schizophrenia. Chile! Let’s just say he keeps life interesting. When he has an episode, everything else comes to a complete stop. I’ve missed work, events, meetings, opportunities, and God only knows what else because at that moment, being his mother has to come first.
And some of those episodes can be so overwhelming and disruptive that for a long time, I truly believed I didn’t have the capacity to entertain a romantic relationship with anybody. Like seriously anybody, where was I supposed to fit another person into all of this?
Think about it! I’m middle aged. At this stage of life, whoever I meet is probably coming with some life of their own. Maybe a chronic illness, family responsibilities, grown children, some emotional baggage, or just a completely different set of struggles. Hell, we’ve been living too long not to have something going on.
And in my mind, I’m thinking, how is all of this supposed to mesh together?
Because now I’m asking somebody to be patient with my health issues. Be understanding when my son needs me. Respect the fact that my businesses and nonprofits require a lot of my time. Understand that sometimes I have to cancel plans, change plans, or handle something unexpectedly.
And somewhere in the middle of all that, I’m supposed to look at somebody and say, “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll have time for you too.” LOL.
Baby, I barely have time for myself! LOL. Whomever is willing to take on these tasks has to be a very special hopefully healthy person! LOL
So I guess this is the part where I tell you how I manage all this chaos.
The answer is, I’ve learned to adjust.
With my son, I stay flexible because I never really know when he may need me. With my businesses, I designate certain days for certain tasks because everything cannot be a priority at the same damn time. And with my health, I’ve learned to slow down and take a break when my body tells me to.
Yes, diabetics need breaks too!
People hear diabetes so much that I think we’ve forgotten it’s a chronic illness. We’ve normalized “the sugar,” as our grandparents called it, because so many people have it. But baby, we’ve also watched it take legs, eyesight, kidneys, hearts, and lives.
And I’m not trying to play with mine.
I have things to do, businesses to build, places to go, and a whole lot more life I plan on living. I am NOT trying to be sitting up in dialysis because I refused to slow down and take care of myself.
So stress free is the way to be!
I make it my business to stay away from any task, person, place, or thing that consistently brings unnecessary stress into my life. I don’t care how long I’ve known you, how good the opportunity looks, or how much somebody thinks I should tolerate it. I'm not!!
And I can’t!
Know this about me. I’m so authentically myself that there’s really only room around me for people who are just as real. I’m already juggling too many things in life to juggle people, personalities, confusion, or unnecessary drama too.
So when you see me, don’t just look at me as all the things I may represent to you. The CEO. The founder. The mother. The host. The entrepreneur. Whatever title you associate with me, look beyond that.
See me as a Black woman with a story. A Black woman who struggles, gets tired, gets frustrated, figures shit out, and keeps going just like you.
And if you’re working your ass off trying to accomplish your dreams while life keeps lifeing, think about me and come back and read this.
Because my story goes much deeper than what I’ve shared here. I became a widow at 23 with two children and barely any family support. I’ve experienced physical and verbal abuse. I’ve survived loss, disappointment, financial struggles, and chapters of my life that I’ll share more about as I continue blogging.
But through every version of my struggle, somehow I got through it.
Then life had the nerve to throw some new shit my way. LOL.
Maybe that’s just the process. Maybe we never reach some magical place where struggle completely disappears. Maybe we just become wiser, stronger, more centered, and better equipped to handle whatever comes next.
So no, I don’t have it all together.
I’m just determined not to give up.
And neither should you.
Peirrce "Peach" Mccoy
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